An era ends on Saturday the 6th at 2:00pm. I finally graduate college and enter into unknown territory. Its unknown territory because I really don't know how things are supposed to go nor what I'm supposed to do now that this phase is over. In a way, school was pretty simple for me in that I always knew what I had to do.
Graduate school is there on the horizon, but now it has become one of those "do it soon" things. I'm deathly afraid that I'll grow satisfied with life and settle for a Masters degree from South Alabama. Not that its a BAD school, but I feel that I've proven to myself that I can hang and succeed in a much more challenging environment. Something challenging in the Computer Engineering field gets me very excited and psyched-up. And I think that sums up my displeasure with USA; because it courses are mostly of a simplistic nature and do not challenge me. I don't feel the panicky need for cramming or ceaseless studying anymore like I used to. I don't think its just "coasting" either; I REALLY feel let down by most of my senior-level classes. The Computer Engineering-specific courses have been VERY disappointing for a variety of reasons. Those reasons mostly because of tenured professors seemingly stuck in the 1980s. Its quite possible that I expected too much when going into this semester; I had fully expected these courses to be the culmination of everything else. I expected them to be the explanation of the unexplained. But all they were was just a continuation, a repeat, or a huge waste of time.
I hope I never get satisfied with what I have accomplished. In my life's experience, I KNOW for a fact that I am at my best when I am challenged and forced to adapt or fail. I absolutely must never forget that doctoral work waits for me in the field of my choice and that it awaits me as the ultimate challenge. I'd like to believe I'll get my PhD before I turn 35; but its going to take some effort on my part not to give in like I did back then.
The next 6 days are going to be pure hell on earth and I'm glad I had a bit of vacation time before it all comes to an end.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The best thing I ever did was come back to school. It has literally changed my life. I was lost and searching for something I could not find and a whole new world opened up before my eyes. Old gifts, old passions, and old memories came rushing back and over time I have finally discovered who I really am. It is impossible to describe how fulfilling it is to find your own identity and it is impossible to comprehend unless you've been there. I have never been so excited for my own future and I encourage anyone contemplating returning to school to put everything you have into it; because you will receive that effort back by more than another order of magnitude.